I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she told me i tasted like america
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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