Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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