Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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