He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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