I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Life is so much better after having sex.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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