he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
