I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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