ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
