so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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