i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
