Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
