I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
