Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
