Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
