I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
