We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
