do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
