New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
