Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
