Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
