Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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