god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
