The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
