saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
