need another drink. this is the easiest way
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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