Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
