You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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