I could make wine with my vomit
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
