Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
BRING THE BAGELS
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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