can u get pink eye on your cock?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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