I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we're making bets on your personal life
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
