had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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