I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
