Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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