I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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