I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
