why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
