After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
