Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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