Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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