I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
