If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
