And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
