Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
