i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
