i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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