9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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