dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
