I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
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Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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