Duck Duck Cougar?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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