In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
3pm strippers are depressing
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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