i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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