If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
