Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
It's a yes or no question.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.