Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
