That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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